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Thursday, February 24, 2005

 

How Bush Caused the Hurricanes

Part 5 in a series

I would have thought that four years is too short a time for one man to so adversely affect the environment on a world-wide scale. But the wiser heads at MoveOn.org and other sites saw through all the apparent contradictions and pronounced that, indeed, Bush is to blame for last year's "extreme" hurricane season.

Some claimed that this was just a natural consequence of "walking away" from the Kyoto Protocols of the Elders of Anticapitalism. Others insist Bush intentionally caused a series of hurricanes to strike Florida (with pinpoint accuracy!) just before the election to somehow win the state. I guess this would either intimidate voters ("Vote for me or face my holy vengeance!") or by make them so grateful for the handouts after the storm that they would feel compelled to vote Republican.

But once again, nobody is explaining just how Bush does it. How does somebody they call a "chimp," a "drunk," and a "village idiot" pull off these seemingly impossible feats of global destruction?

Well, now it can be revealed:

Update: Here is a more detailed explanation of how a butterfly flapping its wings in the Amazon can lead to hurricanes in Florida.


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