Wednesday, April 13, 2005

 

How Bush Killed the Pope

Part 7 in a series

Der Spiegel (via James Taranto) describes a German parliament member's theory on how Bush cleverly caused the Pope's death:

Germany's highest ranking female member of parliament has a new theory: the US government set the Catholic pedophilia scandal in motion because it wanted to weaken an already frail pope. That's also why it made Poland its chief partner in the Iraq war: to make the Vatican look bad. . . .

It seems the U.S. had to do something to weaken the influence of the pope, who was an outspoken opponent of the war in Iraq. Vollmer finds it all very suspicious that after the war, "Poland was made a top occupying power in Iraq, naturally to weaken the pope's hinterland. Or how then, of all times, the campaign against the Catholic Church and the pedophilia was started, which was, of course, totally justified, but at this point in time was definitely a tit-for-tat response." Vollmer found it somehow strange that the US presidents traveled to the Vatican despite the "tough power struggles."

Well, this is obviously a bogus explanation, just on the face of it.

HERE is the real explanation:


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

 

Very Merry Kerry

I knew I had seen this Christmas special, way back when Bush was missing a physical exam, Bill O'Reilly was punting a football, and other lesser events were all coalescing to form the basis of the Democratic Party's 2004 Presidential campaign, thirty-odd years in advance. Stephen Covey would call this proactive, I suppose.

People told me I was crazy, that such a show had never aired. Like the Science Fiction Film Awards broadcast where William Shatner sang his very own jaw-dropping rendition of Rocket Man. It never happened, they insisted. It was just in your dreams.

Well, let them explain this! According to unnamed sources, included in Kerry's military records, which he promised Tim Russert he would release, is this ad torn from the pages of an old TV Guide:

What's that you say? Fraudulent?! Well, how will we ever know, unless Kerry follows through and signs the Form 180?


Thursday, April 07, 2005

 

It's Time to Rebuild

Now here's a daily view I truly miss. I miss it every single time I drive to work, every time I'm walking in the Village and need some orientation, every time I visit the promenade in Brooklyn Heights.

OK, people. At the cost of billions of dollars and thousands of American lives, this country has made a lot of progress in rebuilding Afghanistan and Iraq, which I'm all in favor of, mind you.

But now it's time to cut the crap and rebuild the World Trade Center.

Most New Yorkers want them back. Most Americans want them back. What we don't want back are the ugly, impractical eyesores that those in power seem determined to force upon us.

The arguments against rebuilding are generally arguments for appeasement ("You'll just make them mad at us!"), fear ("Well I would never want to work up that high!"), guilt ("The twin towers were a symbol of hubris that invited destruction!"), or simply hatred ("Litttle Eichmanns!") of the things that make this country and this city great.

Mayor Bloomberg, Governor Pataki, and the muckity-mucks at the Port Authority need to show some backbone and some vision, and give back to New York what Osama and his fanatics took away.


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