Friday, September 21, 2007

 

More Infamous Monsters

You decide: who is REALLY scary?

I have been neglecting my blog in general, and my "Infamous Monsters" collection in particular. But since I have a few minutes of downtime, I can't resist putting up a couple more. Especially with Halloween coming up...



The Green Slime

CBS News
Both of these slime mongers rely on smear tactics, spew out rubbish, and stink to high heaven. But only one of them claims to be unbiased. Also, the Green Slime doesn't relentlessly broadcast dead-baby stories every morning at the top of every hour to depress the heck out of you.



Phantom of the Opera

Joe Wilson
Here's a monster who was finally unmasked to reveal a secret shame that he had stuggled to conceal from the world. Feast your eyes, glut your soul on his accursed ugliness. And his wife, Valerie Plame, is a bit of a skank as well.



The Mummy's Ghost

Helen Thomas
What but an ancient curse could allow this shambling mockery of a corpse to walk among us? The hideous shrieks that erupt from its gullet in defense of Arab death cults could curdle the hair of any press secretary. Why does it keep coming back? Why??!!! She should call it a wrap!



Frankenstein's Monster

Sheik Abdel Rahman
Blinded more by hate than by physical deformity, this shambling mockery of a human being mindlessly kills the innocent, while self-loathing liberals label him "misunderstood." The other guy is just Christopher Lee in makeup.



Unidentified Ghoul

Fauxtography Model
Usually, as children, we are reassured that the monsters we see on film are only fakes and not to worry, that such creeps and fiends are created only for the camera by crafty directors and special effects crews. Unfortunately, nowadays, that's the very reason to fear them.



The Gorgon

Nancy Pelosi
This hideous apparition may turn you into stone if you look at it. She came to power promising to "drain the swamp," but if she did that, she would be homeless. It's hard to clean up a "culture of corruption" when you are the head of a bunch of snakes.



Beneath the Planet of the Apes

The United Nations
These simians think they are so superior that they are above the law, and to a large degree they are right, because they always get away with the most heinous crimes against humanity. Human rights mean nothing to them, since they consider human life to be contemptible. They won't be happy until the Statue of Liberty's ruins are lying on a toxic beach. Damn you!



Nameless trolls

Useful Idiots
Living in a version of hell that they made for themselves, these pathetic devils are legion. Until they learn to deal with their own inner demons, no amount of apologizing will cleanse their empty souls. At least the gentleman on the right is obviously not a single-issue voter.



The Flesh Eaters

Islamic Rage Boy
It's all-consuming. It turns your face, in a matter of seconds, into a distorted mask of horror. And unlike the Flesh Eaters, the fake rage of professional protestors is treated by the mainstream media with undue seriousness.


More to come....


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